@mydanimarie: FRIENDSHIP TIP: stick your head under the bathroom stalls and introduce yourself! You never know where you'll find your soulmate
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@Book_Krazy: "Last call for flight 254" [Runs to gate] "You barely made it" [out of breath] This isnt my flight. I just wanted to tell you I'm a vegan
@ericsshadow: THEM: in 186 days an asteroid is going to collide with Earth EVERYONE ELSE: *screaming* ME: *deletes MyFitnessPal app*
@MizzSlaughter: Take your time, Officer. I have nothing but respect for the law. Your imminent death on this dark side street can wait.