@GreenishDuck: Frogs always look like they just found out there's no free Wi-Fi.
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@AmishPornStar1: If your tweet gets stolen and posted on Facebook... It's your own fault for not making it offensive enough!
@ElliotHetherton: [family of snakes boards a plane and spot Samuel L. Jackson a few rows back] Father snake: oh no not this again Baby snake: *starts crying*
@loribuckmajor: After exercising and eating right all week on Saturday I'm like the Kool-Aid man running into Chipotle.
@longwall26: haha just plucked a shoulder hair so long it could only have been written by George R.R. Martin, who is widely known for abjuring brevity in