@CabetoMejia: From 3am to 6am this morning I wanted to kill myself, but now I want some French toast. #cravings
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@kellysdf: Apparently, if you Google "boss" and "chloroform" from your work computer, it sets off an alarm somewhere.
@OneStopComedy: Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
@DanMentos: *orders a medium pizza* *opens box* PIZZA: I've contacted your late grandmother. She wants you to know- *eats pizza*
@inigoomontoya: I hate when I miss the garbage truck and just have to throw trash in the neighbors hot tub again