@CabetoMejia: From 3am to 6am this morning I wanted to kill myself, but now I want some French toast. #cravings
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@Naked_Wombat: I'm not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.
@AndrewNadeau0: IDEAL UBER DRIVER: -Clean car -Doesn’t talk to me during drive -Plays good music -When he drops me off tells me he’s my father who left when I was 4 & has secretly followed my life and has always been proud of me
@nickcreelman: Some people say they have a hamster on a wheel in their head. I have 4 squirrels fighting over an acorn.
@CarolinaSong: I'm at the bar & I'm trying to convince this girl with a leopard print shirt to go & bite this girl with a zebra print shirt.