@ericbove: From now on when skinny girls say they're fat I'm just gonna be like, "Yup" & walk away.
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@RealCarrotFacts: Putting a carrot next to you in bed can almost fill the space where Megan used to slep
@dumbbeezie: Holiday tip. Always buy people gifts that you would like for yourself in case they piss you off before Christmas
@TheNardvark: The movie Scarface taught us that abusing cocaine can lead to making bad decisions--for example: the script, the soundtrack, and the acting.
@AmericanGent69: My 6 year old came into the bathroom while I was using it to tell me she hates it when the dog comes into the bathroom when she's using it.