@kumailn: Fruits are single-handedly keeping the sticker industry afloat.
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@TrueTorontoGirl: Ironically I’m watching an exercise infomercial because I’m too lazy to get the remote.
@0hJuliette: Whenever a girl is talking too much, remind yourself that other thing she does with her mouth that you like so much. Might dull the pain ;)
@runolgarun: *TSA officer opens my suitcase, disembodied fist pops out and punches him* me: sry sir I forgot I packed a powerful punch *TSA guns me down*
@robolollycop: Teach a man to fish and he will evolve to become so skilled at it that he destroys the ocean and kills every last fish. Nice one education.