@JGrumbie: Fully clothed mom just waded into the pool to grab her devil spawn child that was ignoring her. She's my new favorite.
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@SlabBaconBP: Could you Christian rock singers please invest in a thesaurus. I think God is fully aware by now that you think he is "great" and "awesome."
@jakob_huber: Just bought a thesaurus at the store and brought it home to find out the pages are all blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.
@man_spach: Just saved a bunch of money on my Glenn from The Walking Dead Halloween costume by not showering for a month.
@JaimeSamantha: It's wildly known that all the great artists of the renaissance era loved eating pizza in sewers.