@JGrumbie: Fully clothed mom just waded into the pool to grab her devil spawn child that was ignoring her. She's my new favorite.
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@CrowfootJim: When women get to a certain age they start accumulating cats. This is known as the many paws.
@LoveNLunchmeat: When you have the opportunity to become a bigger person, take it because cake is delicious.
@jus4golf: Found my first gray pubic hair. The people in line with me at the market were not nearly as impressed as I was.
@DonQuickoats: I don't even know how my dog can even think how I might fall for the notion someone else tore apart my shoe