@bourgeoisalien: Fun Adult Game: put your keys down. walk out of room. now try and remember where your keys are
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ColoChiver: Scared the mailman today by going to the door completely naked. Not sure what scared him more, my naked body or that I knew where he lived.
@Megatronic13: Doctor: for the last time, you don’t have superpowers Me: then how can I can feel a storm coming in my joints?? Doctor: ARTHRITIS IS NOT A SUPERPOWER
@iamburtjarvis: me: haha no I'm not ready to have kids yet landlord: no not parent, “pay rent.” me: don’t get me started. i’m not compensated well at work whatsoever. landlord: NO NOT PAY RANT!
@Jmboyd58: *while scrolling Facebook I’m so glad Congress is going to make Facebook protect my data! *clicks on “What Harry Potter character is your social security number?”