@huntigula: Fun bible fact: No records exist of Jesus' life from age 12 to 30 because he was backpacking across Europe with his pet Pterodactyl
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@just1fool: I leave the window open at night hoping a drunk criminal will accidentally drop a bag of money inside while trying to break in.
@gtfml: Never ask me "Who hurt you?" unless you want to sit through a 13 hour PowerPoint presentation.
@LostFelicia: My new sunglasses blend perfectly with the color of my hair so I won't feel so stupid the next time I lose them on the top of my head.