@huntigula: Fun bible fact: No records exist of Jesus' life from age 12 to 30 because he was backpacking across Europe with his pet Pterodactyl
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@MommaUnfiltered: There is nothing quite as genuine as hearing from a friend you haven't seen in forever and finding out she sells Avon now.
@secondofhername: If you date someone working for the federal government and then break up, does he become FedEx? #oksorry
@deadbearrising: Fun Fact: Koala's have finger prints like humans. So next time you rob a bank make sure the koala carriers the gun