@kelkulus: Fun Christmas Trivia: "Myrrh" is the awkward sound you make when you look at your bank balance on Dec 26th.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Me: I'm in the mood for dessert *winks at wife* [2 hours later] Wife: *in lingerie, texts* WHERE R U Me: *texts* Getting ice cream. Y?
@ibid78: -What should we name this creature w/ big feet? "Bigfoot" -And this w/ saber teeth? "Sabertooth" -And this beaverduck? "Platypus" -wtf dude
@djdarrellripley: Me: Pfft.. There is scientific evidence that a woman's brain is lighter than a man's. Her: Perhaps because it gets more exercise.