@JennyJohnsonHi5: Fun Fact: For the cost of a dozen red roses, you could also get a dozen beers and a dozen wings at happy hour. Prob even pay for parking too
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@rachelle_mandik: do you ever get a series of sharp pains like someone has a voodoo doll of you and they're viciously stabbing it? no? how about now?
@FaisalAdam_: This, being a gentleman thing really works. Women just fall for me when I offer them my handkerchief. Sure it's dabbed in chloroform...
@MeetYourDaddy: Forget waterboarding. You want confessions? Lock the guy in a room with a laptop, a Twitter account and a bottle of whiskey.
@LuckyLea13: I'm thankful for my Twitter family. Without you people, I'd still just be talking to myself