@fapanislives: Fun Fact: I love it when Americans whose Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Grandfather emigrated from Ireland say "I'm Irish". No.
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@XOperfectmessXO: Nothing screams passive agressive quite like letting your spouse sleep in, while also letting the kids play loudly outside the bedroom door
@jsteele3966: Day three of MAN COLD. I feel death lurking. Its waiting for me to give up. Stay strong! Think of the cat. He'll eat you if you die.
@ShittyComedian: Anytime I'm using a stall in a public restroom and someone knocks on the door, I always say, "Did you bring the lube?" As loud as possible.
@DeeDeeSpeaks: STOP EDITING YOUR PICS, what if you go missing? How tf can we find you if you look like Beyonce on Instagram but Waka Flocka in real life?