@fapanislives: Fun Fact: I love it when Americans whose Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Grandfather emigrated from Ireland say "I'm Irish". No.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@thespacewad: If your parents say, "You can be whatever you want to be when you grow up", remind them that they'll have to die for you to be Batman.
@upsidedowntrash: [1st Day working at Hotel California] Guest: Id like 2 check out Me: Sure! Youre all set! G: Thanks! [Leaves] Boss: Can I see u in my office
@DirtMcTurd: My girlfriend says she's my best friend but she got so mad when I called her a homo and threw a snowball at her face. Women are so confusing
@briangaar: Goodnight moon. Goodnight stars. Goodnight 4,000-year-old Earth. Goodnight dinosaur fossils that were put here to test our faith.