@Ideal_Victoria: Fun Fact: If someone’s car alarm keeps going off, you’re legally obligated to set the car on fire.
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@Poutymcgee: "THE PLATYPUS HERE TASTES LIKE SHIT! DO NOT ORDER IT!" I shout in the face of a confused and frightened old lady at the zoo.
@Bizarro_Mark: The guy blaring the self help CD at the red light in the rusted car with no bumpers wasn't amused when I said, "I don't think it's working"
@idigcrazychics: Easiest way to break into a moble home in a trailer park is to use a can opener.