@Ideal_Victoria: Fun Fact: If someone’s car alarm keeps going off, you’re legally obligated to set the car on fire.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheBoydP: My superpower is acting like I'm trying to stop the elevator from shutting when more people are trying to get on without really stopping it.
@3sunzzz: [aquarium exit] Excuse me ma'am, would you mind opening your bag? I beg your pardon?! OPEN YOUR BAG *opens bag and reveals two penguins*
@AntoKenya: My girlfriend once told me she was pregnant. I was so excited that I ran to another country and have never seen her from then.
@Home_Halfway: HER: I like talking during sex, but I can't stand it when you narrate the whole thing ME: As she complains, I begin removing my pants slowly