@alfageeek: Fun fact: if you say “I did the math,” nobody argues with you because they don't want to have to redo the math themselves.
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@ilovepie84: After killing a spider I wrap the web around his neck and hang him from the wall to make it look like a suicide.
@TheTweetOfGod: I won't be satisfied until I have enough followers to form sects that fight about how to interpret My tweets until they kill each other.
@bobvulfov: GPS: left—left again—take another left—ur gonna want to take this left—stay left NASCAR DRIVER: why is there a gps in here
@UnFitz: I have an irrational fear that I'm accidentally making up words. I don't want to be misunderstandable.