@deadbearrising: Fun Fact: Koala's have finger prints like humans. So next time you rob a bank make sure the koala carriers the gun
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@EndhooS: [1st day at Subway] Boss: u said u'd done this before Me: [painting myself in marinara sauce] I'm really more of an abstract sandwich artist
@Brampersandon_: [doing a sexy skype chat] GF: show me urs & I'll show u mine ME: mmm baby I can't wait *we both lower our cams to show each other our dogs*
@lucidchemistry: ME: Who's my little sex kitten? HER: *slowly pushes me off bed* ME: [from floor] That's right baby.