@meganamram: Fun fact: Peanut butter also sticks to the roof of your ex-husband's BMW
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@RhinoUR: Buys valentine. Writes "I love you" inside. Mails card to self. Receives card in mail. Reads card. "Eww, why do I attract losers?"
@WilliamAder: If you've ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you've seen me wrapping Christmas presents.
@IamEnidColeslaw: rroses are red, violets are blue, Valentine's Day was invented by big corporations so they could sell more anti-depressants