@Fred_Delicious: Fun fact: Snakes don't exist. They were made up by scientists in 1923 as a joke that went too far so they just kinda rolled with it
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@brycoo: [HR office] Do you know why we called you in today? To give me a pay rise? No. Because I googled 'How to burn down office' 600 times? Yes.
@TheCiscoKidder: My son is at that tender age where he believes me when I say that the dog ate the rest of the cookies out of the pantry.
@VancityReynolds: People in LA are deathly afraid of gluten. I swear to god, you could rob a liquor store in this city with a bagel.
@myles_morrison: The guy behind me at the grocery store only had energy drinks, root beer & gummie lifesavers, so I asked how far into assassins creed he was