@sdurbin23: Fun fact: Taking a box of condoms to the pharmacist's window and asking for the fitting room will get you thrown out of Target.
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@Scimommy: 90% of parenting older kids is making sure they're not in the same room when they have to do homework.
@Glittery_Love: I need your fingers, rubbing me hard, circling around my red swollen ...mosquito bite. What did YOU think I'm talking about? Weirdos!!
@lyric_intent: Peoples whose sliding closet doors never come off their tracks, what do you do with the rest of your dark magic?
@thejamietighe: In a car crash a dog would rescue you. However a cat would pour liquor over your face and testify against you in court.