@sdurbin23: Fun fact: Taking a box of condoms to the pharmacist's window and asking for the fitting room will get you thrown out of Target.
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@Disalmanac: Today in 1892, JRR Tolkien was born. He wrote about all the horrible things that will happen if you put a ring on it.
@david8hughes: [first day as Niagara Falls tour guide] And to the left you can see [frantically flips through your guide] water.