@1Tortured_soul: Fun fact: The average Canadian swallows eight moose per year in their sleep.
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@3sunzzz: Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. ~What is your sin, child? My husband and I are arguing ~That's very common. ...about my boyfriend.
@thenatewolf: Me: I have a secret *I take off my wig* Her: I don’t care still I love you *I smile, take off my bald cap* Me: you passed the final test
@edgarrants: My wife said if she heard me chewing one more time, she was going to murder me. So I stole the batteries from her hearing aids.