@1Tortured_soul: Fun fact: The average Canadian swallows eight moose per year in their sleep.
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@batkaren: "You're auditioning for Scrooge," the casting agent says. "No family, no one loves you—" Batman starts clutching at the script, tearing up.
@Social_Mime: Me - When did we get a porch light? Wife - OK, drink time is over. Me - Why? Wife - That's the moon.
@Juven_Naidoo: Couch: $300 TV: $1000 Chips: $3. The look on your face when you don't have electricity: Priceless