@michaelianblack: Fun fact: The hip word "chillax" is a combination of the slang term "chill" and the more traditional word "laxative."
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@EyeSeeYou619: If dumping the last of your chips into the dip and eating it like cereal is wrong then I don't wanna be right.
@trojansauce: [my fitness dvd] ME: *lifting cans of soup as weights* im using minestrone but you can use pretty much any kind
@JessicaVarsity: I've watched three episodes of "I Shouldn't Be Alive" tonight, adding "outdoor enthusiast and survival expert" to my online dating profile.
@JustDontBugMe: [Secret Meeting] God: We need to create something Magical Angel: Yes, Sir G: Call it Unicorn A: *Tries and fails G: Call it rhinoceros