@michaelianblack: Fun fact: The hip word "chillax" is a combination of the slang term "chill" and the more traditional word "laxative."
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@R0ckG0d88: Damn girl, are you an appendix because I have no idea what you do but this weird feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.
@fightforfood: [dentist's full hand and wrist in my mouth, also his keys?] so u visited Spain u said? tell me. tell me every goddamn detail about Spain
@ArfMeasures: [prehistoric times] MUM: When you get married, your husband will be the hunter DAUGHTER: So I gather
@bigmacher: "Are u going to the circus?" is a perfectly good sentence when not used as a follow-up 2 your wife's question: "how does my make-up look?"