@Kyle_Lippert: Fun fact: the person who said "If you love something let it go" died alone, surrounded by 342 cats.
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@DanMentos: "So we kill a tree" Ok "And put it inside our house" Nice "Then we hang up some socks" I'm with ya "And then we drink egg milk punch" What
@bobvulfov: [funeral] WIDOW: i—i just cant believe he's gone ME: hey [putting my hand on her shoulder] u parked ur car directly behind mine so im stuck
@SteveSuckington: Good cop: license and registration please Perp: I'm sorry was I speeding Dad Cop: hi sorry was I speeding, I'm dad.
@yoyoha: I bet Hannibal Lecter was pretty disappointed when he found out a five finger discount had nothing to do with purchasing fingers.