@rpbateman: Fun Fact: When you die, someone will feel inconvenienced that your funeral is on a particular day. lol
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@qwertying: Husband: Why are there broken condoms on our couch? Wife: Would you please call our children by their real names.
@StarWarsProblms: Obi-wan: You look different. Vader: You left me burning alive in lava with no arms and legs. Obi-wan: I thought maybe you got a haircut.
@Mister_Veritas: ME: Hey buddy, your dog left a little 'present' on my lawn GUY: Huh? ME: *points to tiny, nicely wrapped gift* Thank him for me, willya?