@rpbateman: Fun Fact: When you die, someone will feel inconvenienced that your funeral is on a particular day. lol
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@noxxhell: When Doves get married in a parallel universe they release screaming humans from the cage.
@Monicann86: Every morning I wake up super pissed at my parents because I have to go to work instead of living off a trust fund.
@iwearaonesie: wife: What's wrong? me [annoyed because the kids menu has a picture of a tree on it but they didn't give me any brown crayons] Nothing
@YoungNobler: Congrats to everyone who just got cast in the new Star Wars movie. The film industry is telling you they think you look like an alien.