@Snikoggs: [Job Interview] "It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. What is 17 X 19?" "36" "That's not even close" "But it was quick"

@iamdevloper: I bought some milk over the weekend and also picked a new JavaScript framework to use. At least one of these will be out of date before the week's up.

@Ideal_Victoria: *professes my undying love to my microwave* *microwave sets itself on fire*

@curlycomedy: Few people talk about Hitler's other known book about war games, Mein Sweeper.

@frogshack: *finds baby on doorstep* Me: Should...should we keep it? Wife: ...Let's sleep on it Me: (wide-eyed) Christ Deborah that'd kill him