@CourtneyBale: Fun prank: a chameleon exhibit with no chameleon.
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@iamburtjarvis: me [sneezes]: excuse me. guy at the bus stop: [starts crying] my ex used me too, man.
@JDBooie: Instead of a sock on your door, hang a doughnut. Not only is Doughnut Disturb hilarious, you provide a snack for your now homeless roommate.
@KateWhineHall: "We only had 5 channels and no remote" is the new "I walked uphill both ways, barefoot to school when I was a kid."