@CourtneyBale: Fun prank: a chameleon exhibit with no chameleon.
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@cjwerleman: Michelle Obama telling America to drink more water is the best plan I've heard for making racists dehydrate to death.
@thatUPSdude: Hey people that knock on locked restroom doors, what are you expecting? "hey I'm taking a shit but come on in and join me"
@jackiembouvier: I love my husband. But, what really motivates me to stay married is how much weight I'd have to lose to date again.