@Kyle_Lippert: Fun prank: Find a sleeping spider, crawl in its mouth and lay your eggs. Turn the tables. Give nature the finger. Live it up.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 3-year-old: *dumps Cheez-its on the floor* Me: What are you doing?! 3-year-old: Feeding the Roomba.
@SolelyB: I get worried when someone posts a kitten pic with a foreign language, I don't know if they're showing a cute kitty pet or their dinner.
@Sean_Burgundy_: Winning a fight with your gf is like winning a vacation to Detroit. Don't get too excited