@Kyle_Lippert: Fun prank: Find a sleeping spider, crawl in its mouth and lay your eggs. Turn the tables. Give nature the finger. Live it up.
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@TheGayFlash: The Pink Panther's To Do list: - To do - To do - To do, to do, to do, to do, to doooo
@kelkulus: Female praying mantises bite the heads off males while mating, so if your mantis boyfriend shows up without a head, he was cheating on you.
@BigPlanetEarth: People are like books. You can't judge them by the outside and it's not cool to burn a big pile of them.
@Godhatespants: Actual air attendant: "Secure your mask before helping your kids.if you have multiple, pick the one with the highest earning potential 1st"