@Kyle_Lippert: Fun prank: Find a sleeping spider, crawl in its mouth and lay your eggs. Turn the tables. Give nature the finger. Live it up.
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@juliussharpe: For just $28,000, I will teach any politician or politician's wife to wave like a normal human being.
@goldengateblond: Just congratulated my ex on dating someone so young that her Throwback Thursday photos are just pictures of her pregnant mom. I'm a dream.
@Steelers1972: For Sale : Used Facebook account ~ get up to the minute weather forecast, religious counseling and countless pictures of Jenny's cat.