@Mr_Kapowski: Fun Prank: If someone leaves their car windows cracked cause it's hot outside, start slipping unwrapped Kraft Singles in their car
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@TheMichaelRock: We'd probably have a lot less crime if superheroes would stop making movies all the time.
@ArfMeasures: [Bar] HER: I want to have sex so badly ME: [trying to impress her] I am so bad at sex
@_ShutUpKate: *gets eaten by a shark* At funeral: "She died doing what she loved...*sob*...feeding the animals."
@Wtftab: For gods sake! You'd think it would be safe not locking a car in a church carpark on a Sunday, apparently NOT. Anyway I got 8 iPhones.