@Mr_Kapowski: Fun Prank: If someone leaves their car windows cracked cause it's hot outside, start slipping unwrapped Kraft Singles in their car
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@HuttonGray: Why don't they allow computers in prison? Is it because of the escape button? I think it's because of the escape button.
@WigCannon: Do you know why I pulled you over? "Yes, because I was driving a motorized toilet." I meant this time "Oh. No." Please step out of the oven.
@pranavsapra: They named it Galaxy Note because when you take this thing out of your pocket, the entire Galaxy can note that it's been taken out.
@joejwest: [traffic jam] MAN: [rolls down window] Dude, why? ME: [in the next car holding a rabbit as it repeatedly kicks the horn] It's his birthday