@SocialExtortion: fun prank: text a girl "we need to talk right now" and then throw your phone into a river
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@trevso_electric: Does the S in iPhone 5S stand for "superficial"? "Shallow"? "Slave"? Or "soon to be obsolete"?
@_NTFG_: Sometimes when I say "I'm OK", what I really want is for someone to give me a hug, say "You're not OK" and hand me $10,000.
@StellaGMaddox: My husband purchased his 4th book about a wife whose husband murders her for having an affair. I wonder if I should warn my boyfriend.