@Hadzilla: FUN PRANK: tweet "going hang gliding!!!!" then don't tweet again for 12 years
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@moneebthinks: Me: Another one, barkeep! I'm not driving! Bartender: *warily makes me a third ice cream sundae*
@CorkyCrash: I've become obsessed with the idea that Jesus was a terrible guitarist but no one told him to stop because they were afraid of his dad.