@DanMentos: FUN PRANK: when a stranger hands you their phone to take a picture of their family, take a selfie instead and also steal their phone
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@SergioValenCo: If a woman asks if you "notice anything new" tell her "I do, your beauty surprises me every day." Then continue thinking about velociraptors
@Book_Krazy: Cop: Know why I pulled you over? "No" Cop: *points* Your buck naked [turns to deer in passenger seat] "Jesus Frank, put your fur back on"
@_Kim_Jongun: The rest of the world should fear our military. We have the most cutting edge technology 1954 had to offer.
@jessokfine: Bread pudding is not a dessert. it is just wet bread. do not fall for this scam. Resist.