@ImaFlyontheWall: Fun Prank: When someone wakes from a coma, have everyone dressed in medieval clothes and welcome them back from "The Sleeping Disease"
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@Thynebear: [starts chanting in unison] In Unison! In Unison! In Unison! Government Official: I don't know what he wants, all I know is I don't like it.
@UncleDuke1969: [first date] ME: How do you spend your free time? HER: I read a lot. I enjoy studying the big questions. Like... Do we have free will? Does God exist? Is our universe real? What do you think about? ME: I've always wondered how Dumbo's hat stayed on when he was flying.
@shegotagronk: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 53 times a day, you're an Instagram filter.