@MaryKoCo: Fun: text friend Are you alone right now? They go Yes. Then u text back LOL
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@lawking30: She asked for my name, if I'm alone, had me remove belt/shoes & take out what I have in my pants. Interactions w/TSA agents are underrated.
@KeetPotato: one of my goals in life is to be on such bad terms with a person that i have to watch their funeral from a distance behind a tree
@TimFederle: Why are pilots so honest? Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."
@shadygrenade: "30 shots of espresso NOW." *barista's eyes widen* Whoa what do you do for a living? "I STAY AWAKE FOR A LIVING!" *roundhouse kicks barista*