@MaryKoCo: Fun: text friend Are you alone right now? They go Yes. Then u text back LOL
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@mynameisntdave: I can't wait until Twitter gives you the option to block yourself. I say some real dumb shit on here and I shouldn't have to deal with it.
@ArfMeasures: [Looking round a museum] ME: Hey Patricia, have you seen this pterodactyl? DATE: Yeah, but *smiles* you don't pronounce the p ME: Oh God I'm such an idiot! I feel stupid now, Atricia
@IamEveryDayPpl: The word "karaoke" comes from an old Chinese proverb meaning: "go home, you're drunk."