@Jesssicle: Fun thing to do: Before leaving someone's house, ask them if you can take a roll of toilet paper "to go"
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@FauxFawx: *calls 911* Hey, I found some big guns. *Cops surround the house. I come outside flexing and get shot 263 times.*
@tastefactory: "YOU HAVE A CUT ON YOUR FINGER YOU HAVE A CUT ON YOUR FINGER YOU HAVE A CUT ON YOUR FINGER" - salt
@shatty48: Some people are looking for the meaning of life. I'm still looking for the meaning of I licky boom boom down.
@iwearaonesie: Hell hath no fury like a toddler who demanded to use a fork to eat his soup and can’t eat his soup