@TheDjinnTrials: Fun thing to say to your neighbors on the first meeting: I love the way your hair smells when you're sleeping.
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@ElgatoEsmio: [An old thermometer breaks scattering mercury beads all over the floor] “Get out of here, NOW!" “Why?” “HAVEN'T U SEEN TERMINATOR 2?”
@audipenny: When someone tries to argue with me I'm like "hey pal let me stop you right there" and then physically turn them around to face someone else
@chuuew: Cop: Admit it! You killed that family Murderer: You can't prove anything... Cop: You know, you're actually called "Murderer" in this thing
@OVLH: I always keep a google search for "how to find anyone, anywhere, and kill them" open on my phone in case anyone steals it.