@TheDjinnTrials: Fun thing to say to your neighbors on the first meeting: I love the way your hair smells when you're sleeping.
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@Jmboyd58: 2nd month dating: A thousand lifetimes with you would not be enough. 2nd month of marriage: OMG you are the loudest cereal chewer on earth!
@VodkaThursday: My bunny thumps at trash collectors. Nice to know that if the Sanitation Dept. ever has ill intentions, she won't stand for any of that shit
@XplodingUnicorn: Coworker: Do you ever think about work at home? Me: I don't even think about work at work.
@YayForJam: Order a pizza then act confused when it arrives. "A delivery for Aaron? Aarons DEAD. He DIED ordering a pizza in this house 10 years ago"