@hardlyrelevant: "If anyone has a reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace" (from the back) He saw Creed live in 2003

@Fred_Delicious: "my dad works at Nintendo" "No he doesn't ur such a liar" *Donkey Kong walks in & takes off his hat & coat* "Hey sport, good day at school?"

@scorpicpanda: {at fancy restaurant} Waiter: *pulls out chair* Me: "Don't make this weird, dude."

@briangaar: Sorry for accidentally karate kicking you. Sorry for high-fiving everyone who saw it

@Marlebean: Our parenting style can best be described as: Bad cop, Bozo cop