@juliussharpe: Fun tip - instead of going on vacation with a baby, stand outside until you're sunburned, then light $1,000 on fire.
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@LogicLaughs: That awkward moment you have long eye contact with someone who's really attractive, only cause it's too hard to walk away from the mirror.
@Audenary: BOUNCER: Sorry, buddy - planets only. PLUTO: I'm on the list. BOUNCER: Nope. *Jurassic World walks in* PLUTO: Oh you cannot be serious.
@Jackson5toLife: Why roboticize vacuuming? It's all instant gratification. It's the crack of cleaning.