@juliussharpe: Fun tip - instead of going on vacation with a baby, stand outside until you're sunburned, then light $1,000 on fire.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ericsshadow: "GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE" KID: *goes kicking and screaming* TEEN: You can't do this, I have plans tonight ADULT: Thank you so much
@Tmoney68: Just saw a man wearing a pager. Apparently, he's expecting a very important call from someone in 1994.
@Shut_up_Marissa: In sign language, the story of my life can be told through a series of facepalms.