@sara_ashlynn: Fun trick: Swap guacamole with wasabi, then watch.
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@GBRougecity: I don't believe in reincarnation but damn my dog looks like he's trying to crank over a motorcycle while he's sleeping.
@Ditchful: adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane
@TheTalkingPipe: I accidentally opened the fitness app on my phone for the first time ever. It just began pointing at me & laughing.