@iamledgin: Fun typo: "You ate the most important thing in my life."
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@ibid78: *uses handkerchief* Well now that this is used, it seems I won't be blowing my nose again til laundry day.
@ninjadinosaur1: I figured out how to eat rice cakes. You have to frost them and then dip them into marshmallow fluff. Diet food isn't so bad.
@SortaBad: Just finished my book about how to get laid at bars. It's called The Girl With the Lower-Back Tattoo.
@flashember: [Enters baby room late at night] *flicks switch* [baby's got a raccoon in a headlock] "What the-" DAD CLOSE THE DOOR THIS PUNK OWES ME MONEY