@TheThomason: Fun way to make someone question everything: comment "you are so brave" on all their selfies.
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@MrSandeepP: Me: Hello, is it me you're looking for? Her: no Me: *dials another number* Hello, is it me you're looking for?
@Scott_A_Gilmore: People named Thomas, your nickname isn't "Thom" it's Tom. "Thom" thounds sthupid and prethenthiuos.
@GerryMcBride: Judas: The one I kiss is Jesus Christ. Soldier: You can just point to him. Judas: (putting on lip-balm) I don't tell you how to do your job.
@astutenewf: Whenever I'm behind a college girl in starbucks she has to order a triple mocha dark chocolate raspberry ugg boot white iphone 5 spice latte