@TheThomason: Fun way to make someone question everything: comment "you are so brave" on all their selfies.
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@imence2: In RL I'm a car salesman. Which means its my job to know how many bodies fit in the trunk of a car officer. This is all work related.
@robyn_vo: People who say their migraine is going to be the death of them are totally right because I just killed a lady right after she said that.
@OBiiieeee: Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?...No you hang up first! Hello? 911?