@andreeahluscu: Funny how shampoo bottles weigh like, 2 pounds in real life, but when dropped in the shower they turn into a meteor.
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@WhiskeyPotPie: If the zombie apocalypse hits and you all need a twist tie, my mom has everyone covered.
@pleatedjeans: Instead of yelling "Hello?" when u think a murderer's in your home, say "Goodbye" Then if he's there he'll be like well OK guess I'm leaving
@neiltyson: Because you know I’m all about that data, ‘bout that data. No trouble. I’m all about that data, ‘bout that data. No trouble.