@andreeahluscu: Funny how shampoo bottles weigh like, 2 pounds in real life, but when dropped in the shower they turn into a meteor.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@lynnbixenspan: I forget, are you supposed to be happy when you see their exes are ugly, or worried that you might be ugly too?
@PeachyPixel8: You have tattoos and curves? *unbuttons pants* You're also batshit crazy? *takes off pants* You listen to Paramore? *puts on clothes*
@LizHackett: You must be radiating feminine mystique because every man in the cafe is looking at you, and then you realize there's a TV over your head.
@gruffybeard: Damn girl, are you the Sunday crossword because I want to spend all day doing you...