@amydillon: Funny how this Target cashier says "Merry Christmas" like she's not going to see me 50 more times between now & then.
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@Gooooats: By this time of year baby Jesus was probably already totally sick of playing with his frankincense.
@moooooog35: A bright side to having kids is that if I'm ever trapped in my car I have 3 years worth of half-empty water bottles and goldfish to live on.
@andreeahluscu: All I'm saying is that if M&M's poured out of a person after you stabbed them, I'd probably lose my moral compass very quickly.