@longwall26: Funny how we say "I drank a *pot* of coffee" instead of "I drank fourteen cups of coffee and chased the cat around the hot tub with a sword"
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@ericonederful: I finally had the talk with my kids. I told them that in the wild animals eat their young so they better get their shit together.
@KeetPotato: co-pilot: "ask in a way that won't panic everyone" pilot: "ok" [via intercom] "is there a fireman on the plane?"
@Amburglar_: According to Facebook, 78% of girls I went to high school with now own their own photography business.