@longwall26: Funny how we say "I drank a *pot* of coffee" instead of "I drank fourteen cups of coffee and chased the cat around the hot tub with a sword"
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@Ideal_Victoria: Note to self: Next time your migraine specialist asks "How's your head?" Don't reply with "No man has ever complained."
@Cheeseboy22: My problem with McDonalds is I can't go retrieve my kids in the play tubes because I can't fit in the play tubes because I eat at McDonalds.
@rolldiggity: If you're in a bar and a newscaster says, "Police report the killer left a small doll at the scene," don't shout, "It was an action figure!"