@reesespiece_: Funny how whenever I ask someone how a girl I knew is doing, the first thing they say is "married."nLike that's gonna stop me!
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@ColIegeStudent: using microsoft word *moves an image 1 mm to the left* all text and images shift. 4 new pages appear. in the distance, sirens.
@QwertyJones3: GUY ABOUT TO MURDER ME: What are you doing ME: I'm naming you godfather to my kids. Now you get them if anything happens to me GUY: DAMMIT
@daneZie: *gets caught breaking into used car lot* *desperately attempts to blend in with inflatable arm flailing tube men*