@reesespiece_: Funny how whenever I ask someone how a girl I knew is doing, the first thing they say is "married."nLike that's gonna stop me!
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@david8hughes: [baby wakes up in the middle night] "Go back to sleep, hun. I'll sort it out." [puts baby on eBay]
@comer310: Bro: *on phone* Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe. BABE! Dude: You're so whipped. Bro: What? I just got her to rent Babe instead of The Notebook.
@Shock_Monster: Why do Asian people never seem to age? I met a chinese girl today & I estimate her age to be somewhere between 4 & 197.