@kidphonic: Funny how you can tell a child Santa is made up and they accept it immediately, but you tell an adult God is made up, and they throw a fit.
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@NotYourSoulmate: Some lady brought a gaggle of pre-teens to the movie, sat them down next to us & then sat elsewhere. I sold them all on the black market.
@_breannuh: This fitness girl I follow on insta TREATED herself today with regular eggs instead of egg whites... eggs bro.. I will never be fit
@Thedudish: The recipe said "Set the oven to 180 degrees," so I did, but now I can't open it because the door faces the wall.
@ranndrew: "How'd the date go?" Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.