@batsly: Funny prank: stay over at a friend's house and die on their couch.
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@cuckoo_cachu: At this point, I'm positive I've read the entire Bible via Facebook status updates. *crosses off bucket list*
@awkwardphilippe: ME[David Attenborough voice] Starting with the outer layers he'll devour the entire carcass HER: are you narrating yourself eating lasagna?
@joe_binkley: My childhood has prepared me for a lot more bear-related pic-a-nic-basket thefts than I'm currently experiencing.
@ShoutingGoddess: When idiots talk to me, I just imagine they're saying, 'I'm an idiot,' over and over. Makes it easier to nod in agreement and not get cross.