@rezox: funny when u get charged by a cash machine to get ur own cash out but then it tells u to cover ur pin to prevent getting robbed.
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@iwearaonesie: *wife offers me a sip of her water* m: Am I gonna catch what you have? w: No m: w: m: Are you sur- w: You're not going to get my period!
@BlondAmbitionTO: On dates, if a man says the past tense of "see" as "I seen" instead of "I saw," I go to the bathroom and climb out the window.