@rogerbellin: future historians will point to this and ask how we didn't see the third world war coming
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@tastefactory: Prisoner:*strapped into chair* Flip the switch & fry me. Guard: Oh, we're not electrocuting you... *college kid w/ acoustic guitar walks in*
@KeetPotato: cop: i have to give you a ticket me: [undoes button] how bout now? cop: sir me: [undoes another] how bout now? cop: sir pls get off my shirt
@myles_morrison: I can tell everything I need to know about your business by the thickness of your bathroom toilet paper.
@david8hughes: [sees a dog about to get run over] Me [dives toward dog & rolls to safety]: that was close [sees a cat about to get run over] Me: car coming