@neiltyson: FYI: By the end of the Twelve Days of Christmas song, your home is crammed with 23 flying Birds and 50 hyperactive Humans.
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@Crunch11b: Calm down white moms on dish detergent commercials, no wife is EVER that excited about dishes. Ever.
@davedittell: UNICORN: I love the forest! I love my horn! Life is wonderf— [Pegasus flies over chased by babes] UNICORN: God why have you forsaken me
@tweetofclay: That's so nice of Activia to offer a money back guarantee. Am I supposed to send them pictures of myself not shitting?