@droidbears: fyi, drug mule does not mean youll be getting stoned and riding around on a donkey... worst first day ever
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@WildeThingy: A new study shows twitter is more addictive than crack. A scientist who looks suspiciously like my wife said "better put down that phone."
@droidbears: interviewer: any interests outside of work me: war and space documentaries mom: he means star wars me: mom stay in the car mom: nerd
@ihateitmunky: Date Her: OMG my dad keeps texting me he's so annoying Me: [hoping to impress her] yeah he's a piece of shit
@tastefactory: EXPLORER 1: *looking at ancient symbols in pyramid* It says "Here lies updog" EXPLORER 2: What's updog? EGYPTIAN SPIRITS: Lol