@droidbears: fyi, drug mule does not mean youll be getting stoned and riding around on a donkey... worst first day ever
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@Brampersandon_: [White House] Any ideas on how to defeat ISIS? *Biden excitedly raises hand* Besides assembling the Avengers. *Biden dejectedly lowers hand*
@david8hughes: [wife gets in the car after talking with the priest] "What did the priest have to say?" "He said you have to stop rapping over the choir."
@T_Bonezzz: Been dating this new chick and some days i like her and some days i don't. so i made her a mixed signal tape
@KatWar1: [Enters Building] "Excuse..." *Voice fades* "... anyone..." "... how to..." "... out this..." "... ving door?"