@seamussaid: FYI: hey my wife came home in a terrible mood and I figured I'd read her one of my tweets to cheer her up, turns out that's a bad idea guys
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@SteveKoehler22: If you use a wrong word in a tweet and a grammar nazi loses his shit- Try these consoling words : "Their, there, they're. It'll be okay"
@theshantilly: Me: I want cozy pajama pants for Christmas. Him: I was gonna get lingerie. Me: Trust me. VS won't have your size. Him: Me: *jazz hands*
@hardlyrelevant: "Oh, Monster TRUCK rally. Haha of course..." *Frankenstein slowly backs out of the room, hiding a 24 pack of condoms behind his back*