@bridger_w: FYI, you don't have to be a waiter in order to go in a restaurant and wander from table to table asking people, "How's everything tasting"
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@Monicann86: My Doberman sits on other dogs to assert dominance. I'm going to try this with my co-workers.
@SteveSuckington: "I take pride in my job. I transport the worlds most precious cargo" -oh, u drive a school bus? "LMAO Hell no! I'm a drug smuggler u nerd"
@JKNenagh: Policeman:"Sir, we have sufficient evidence to believe that this vehicle has been stolen. Me: how Policeman: Step out of the tank Sir
@TheTweetOfGod: "Church of England Formally Approves Female Bishops". Congratulations British women! You can now move diagonally!