@JohnHilsen: Galadriel told Frodo only he could destroy the ring. Smokey Bear said only YOU can prevent wildfires. Frodo did his job; did you do yours?
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@KimmyMonte: Can't believe no one told me that cows can't walk down stairs. Now I'm stuck with all these attic cows.
@StellaRtwot: Sometimes the last thing people hear before they're murdered is the sound of their pen that they won't stop clicking.
@Bob_Heller: "Sir... your family is dead. APRIL FOOLS!!!! Kidding!!! Your son made it! He's in a coma! OMG You shoulda seen your face!" - Worst ER doc